Happy Easter

I hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend. We were blessed with great weather here in London last week. The sun was shining, the skies were clear. On Friday, S and I headed down to Surrey to spend an afternoon with a friend and her gorgeous little girl. The kids are only a few months apart and it was so cute to see them playing together, holding hands and of course catching up with my friend R. I spent a lot of time with my awesome cousins this week too. With busy lives and upcoming weddings, we don’t get a chance to catch up as often as I’d like but when we do, it’s always such a laugh!

10291744_10151994122325919_8838540157206421858_n

10271464_10154199453650727_6750245158064205017_n

I went to a boarding school in Dublin from the age of 14-18 and so was introduced to “Lent”. I’ve never really had the will power to give up anything, or over indulged in anything that I feel the need to give it up but this year I decided to give up carbonated drinks. Initially I thought I’d give up alcohol but then met R and another friend for lunch two days after Shrove Tuesday and was easily convinced why I shouldn’t give up wine and in fact join her and give up carbonated drinks. Maybe it’s a mummy thing! I thought it’d be hard when I was out to dinner and wanted a diet coke but instead I just replaced it with hot water or green tea and it’s felt good.

I’ve had a busy few weeks catching up with things. As of last week, I am a certified life coach…woo hoo! I am currently working towards an NPL (neuro-linguistic programming) and hopefully CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) qualifications. Wish me luck! Essentially these are modules I’ve always wanted to study but somehow never had the chance. I hope to complete them before the end of the year and maybe even add a couple more therapies to my portfolio.

How was your Easter weekend and did you give up anything for Lent?

What is Gentle Parenting?

natasham:

The universe sends you exactly what you need, when you need it!
I’ve had a really tough week, mainly because my gentle parenting method of S was compromised and I felt pushed into a situation that goes against how I’d like to parent him. And then this post by Sarah popped into my inbox yesterday. And quite honestly, I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Many people are of the belief that 2 year olds don’t know what they want, that children need to be forced into things because “they don’t know better” and often we find ourselves at the receiving end of unsolicited advice.
For me, this post sums up how I parent my child. The importance of listening to what he wants, responding to his needs and keeping him happy as much as I can. Because what’s more important than a happy child?
Sure, he’s 2 and he’ll tantrum and he’ll go through various emotions and often get upset at not being able to express himself. But he knows his mama is always there. As Sarah so eloquently puts it, “Gentle parenting is not permissive parenting” (and I’ve said the same thing before). It’s not always about giving into your child or letting them call the shots but taking the time to listen to what they need.
Sarah’s post was just the “gentle” reminder I needed this weekend :)

Originally posted on Sarah Ockwell-Smith:

What is Gentle Parenting?

In my opinion it can be summed up with just four words:

1. Empathy

2. Respect

3. Understanding

4. Boundaries

Image1. Empathy

Parenting with your child’s feelings in mind as much as possible. Using empathy (or what some psychologists call ‘mind-mindedness’) to gain insight into your child’s behaviour and using empathy to decide what action you should take in response. The key here really is thinking “would I like it if somebody did this to me?” if the answer is “no”, then why would you do it to your child?

2. Respect

Respecting your child as much as you would respect an adult. For some reason in our society we afford children little respect. We constantly tell them what to do, what they like and dislike and perhaps worst of all the constant “be quiet” commands. We don’t really ‘hear’ them enough. Why did he hit…

View original 513 more words

Choosing kindness

Earlier in the week I read a beautiful article about choosing kindness.

For me, it was a very apt read given a scenario I am currently facing. I feel like as women and mother’s, we take the world on our shoulders. Wanting to do the best for our partners, our children, our extended families that very often we neglect ourselves. I’ve seen it time and time again with women around me. Sacrificing our desires for those we love.

Very often when I am faced with a certain situation, I find myself being much harsher on myself than I would if a friend came to me for advice in the same situation. Reading this article reminded me of how important it is to choose kindness. But not just in the way we behave with others, but in the way we treat ourselves.

We can choose to be kind in almost every moment of our day: holding the door open for someone, greeting a shop clerk with a smile, saying thank you to the bus driver, interacting with our family, even looking in the mirror. Throughout the day we have ample opportunity to choose kindness and it doesn’t cost us anything.

wpid-kindness-quotes-the-smallest-act-of-kindness-is-worth-more-than-the-grandest-intention

And what goes hand in hand with kindness, is gratitude. About 90 days ago, I started the 100 happy days project on Instagram. The idea is to upload an image a day that brought me happiness. More recently, Dino Daswani of Dino’s words of wisdom blog started an online gratitude thread. He’s encouraged people from around the world to name one thing they are grateful for each day. So often we can name many things we’re grateful for: our family, good health, wealth, friends, etc. But gratitude is not just about recognising what we are grateful for but rather practicing what we are grateful for. And practicing making choices to be a better person.

Essentially none of us are bad people, but often because of our egos and our fears, we do and say negative things. We think the worst of people, we doubt people and eventually muddy our own peace of mind. I’ve been at the receiving end of some unkindness recently but rather than ask “why?”, going forward I’ll be choosing kindness wherever I can because in order to change the world, we need to first change ourselves.

R.I.P. Peaches Geldof

I’d always heard of Peaches Geldof but never really knew much about her. Until last Autumn when she faced Katie Hopkins on This Morning and held her own when talking about attachment parenting. She was a “bad girl”, gone good. At the age of 24 she was a mother of 2 beautiful boys, Astala and Phaedra.

Just last week I was reading an article in Mother & Baby about her. She was to be their monthly columnist and was introduced by Editor-in-chief Claire Irvin. Through her Instagram pictures and words, you could see just how much she loved her boys. She was quoted as saying “Since I’ve had the boys, I don’t think of the world as a negative place any more. I just have so much love. And, through my love for them, I have reborn into a better, more understanding, more patient person – I feel like an adult.” I couldn’t agree with her more, I feel exactly the same way.

Peaches%20Geldof-692085

Shortly after her death, Bob Geldof released the following statement on behalf of his family:

“Peaches has died,” he said. “We are beyond pain. She was the wildest, funniest, cleverest, wittiest and the most bonkers of all of us. Writing ‘was’ destroys me afresh. What a beautiful child. How is this possible that we will not see her again? How is that bearable? We loved her and will cherish her forever. How sad that sentence is.”

And later, her husband Thomas went on to say:

“My beloved wife Peaches was adored by myself and her two sons, Astala and Phaedra, and I shall bring them up with their mother in their hearts every day. We shall love her forever.”

article-2371559-1AE792C6000005DC-941_634x867

I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for her family and my thoughts and prayers are with them. I really hope her boys grow up knowing just how kick ass their mom was!! I’ll miss your honest, funny and down-to-earth columns in Mother & Baby each month. Rest In Peace Peaches Geldof.

You can read her final column here.