It all comes down to value…

I was catching up with one of my close friends last week and we were discussing a recent case I’d read about where a husband and wife battled it out in court for 7 years spending crazy amounts of money because she knew he had money and he claimed he was bankrupt. I explained to my friend how I just didn’t get it. I understand the animosity built up over the course of a divorce and the heightened feelings of resentment but surely the children should be kept out of it?

The two children (teenagers) in this particular case were taken out of private school and the mother was single-handedly raising them. One of the reasons she fought the case (for so long) was for all women out there who were in the same position.

And then my friend so aptly said: “It all comes down to how much the father values the child”. She hit the nail on the head with that one. If a father has the money but still chooses not to support his children, what value is he putting on his children? On their education, on their standard of living? And how are his children supposed to respect him?

Granted, their may have been things the mother did that the media didn’t report but ultimately, she was raising their two girls on her own. In the end she was awarded £20 million, but not before attending 56 hearings, and only after she spent about £6.5 million on various solicitors and barristers.

It does make you question parental responsibility and what it really entails. At the end of the day, you can’t force someone to support their child if they really don’t want to but for the sake of your child, you can try.

Single Parent Pessimist
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10 thoughts on “It all comes down to value…

  1. This is something I think about often!
    My son’s sperm donor continues to put himself first and his social life and always has, yet in the eyes of the law has parental responsibility! I think it needs seriously looking at and changing!
    thanks for joining #singleparentlinky

  2. I’m often left wondering whether I should pursue my CSA case and keep battling out for some financial support. Then I figure it’s just wasting the fun times I get to have with my children. They’ll realise the same thing one day. Their father didn’t value them enough to give them a penny.

  3. Oh God, this is a subject that affects so many single mums, me included. My ex didn’t pay me a penny for 3 years. When he eventually started paying something, he told everyone he was paying me ‘more than I was entitled to’ so I got the CSA involved it turned out he had been lying about his salary (surprise!) and had been paying me less than I was entitled to for years. Disgusting.

  4. This really annoys me!! As a single Dad I put my Children first 100% of the way. I invest my time, my money, my life and every inch possible to my children. I do it through love not because of my parental responsibility. It really annoys me when Single Dads do not pull their weight and instead put themselves first. Oh what a life that must be!! Saying that I am not envious one bit because I know that I get so much more from my children than the freedom without them. Dads who do this put the ones who actually do everything in their power, including fighting every step of the way for some access, to see and be active in their children’s lives, to a shocking stereotype. It really does aggravate me. Sorry for the rant but hate dads who do this.

  5. Thanks Martyn, I know there are loads of great dads out there. It’s just a pity there are some shocking one’s as well. Glad to hear you put your boys first and I can certainly see that from reading some of the posts on your blog 🙂

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