S had his first Little Kickers football class today. I’d been telling him about it and my dad had taken him out to play football twice this week so I thought he would be quite excited. However, when we got to the class, it was all a little overwhelming and while he engaged for parts of it, he wanted me right beside him at all times. I was happy to do this. I understand it’s a new experience and he’s used to playing football one-on-one. The coach and another mom both assured me that all kids take a couple of weeks to get into it.
At the end of the class I was getting him some water and a snack when I realised the coach was handing out little stickers to each child. So I pointed S in the right direction and he ran off to get one. As he got to the group of kids, he held his t-shirt out and looking up at the coach said “I want it sticker”, “I want it sticker”. It was such a cute sight. However, the coach went around to every other kid popping a sticker onto their t-shirts and got to S almost last. While my mama bear instincts shot to the surface and I wanted to run over and get S a sticker, it dawned on me that unfortunately my son won’t always come first. I don’t blame the coach. S was one of the last to get to the group and so there’s no reason for him not to have to wait. And while I’m aware he has to wait his turn (I make him wait in lines often), and he won’t always come first to everyone else, today was the first time I saw it as an observer, detached from the situation. To be honest I think it was the fact that he looked so damn cute in his little uniform.
But he won’t always be given the attention I give him, he won’t always be picked first on the football pitch, he won’t always have the toys another child has, be his teachers pet, get the girl he likes, get the job he wants or matter to anyone else as much as he matters to me.
And as a mom, I need to be okay with that…